Other People's Opinions...

 Sooner or later we all confront other people's opinions...

When confronted, remember what my 58 years have taught me...

Not everyone will appreciate you and everything you have to offer.

Many people believe,

'If you don't live life as I do, something is the matter with you.'

We know they couldn't be more wrong.

While we wait for them to figure that out, don't let these people bother you.

Move on and...

Seek out those wise enough to truly appreciate you and all you have to offer.

Remembering, just because,

Some people don't believe in you, is no reason not to pursue your wildest dreams.

After all,

Their beliefs are just opinions, not facts.

~ Clark Finnical

Do you really need to do that?

I turned 65 recently and my wife and I had a heart to heart.

We both know I'm not going to work forever.

We both know we need to think about how much money we'll have when I stop working when I turn 70 and what I can do to maximize that.

Once we created this goal, this objective, this life clarifying decision, all of a sudden things became clearer.

I found a couple quotes that helped me make better decisions:

If you don't separate yourself from your distractions, Your distractions will separate you from your goals and the life you want. ~ Louisa Alcott

 Always ask yourself if what you’re doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.  ~ Coelho

So since my objective was to work till I'm 70 my thought was, 'OK I've got to do the absolute best job I can do so that I'll remain employed. All of a sudden a lot of things started coming up to mind.

One of the great things about this kind of thinking is now I had a crystal clear measuring stick to determine if I should be doing something or not.

All of a sudden, I realized,

> I better go to bed at 8 every night and since I like to read before closing my eyes, I better set a timer for 60 minutes so I don't shortchange myself from the sleep I need to have a productive day.

> That Instagram account is not that important and I don't need to be so active on LinkedIn. 

> As much as I care about my local town council, sometimes I've got to realize I cannot do everything.

Nor do I need clutter my mind with things, like 

> Why that local restaurant closed and reopened. 

> Politics. I voted and mailed some post cards but that's all I can do. This year they voted out the guys in power and four years from now the same pattern will probably repeat itself. 

> Listening to endless TV and spending more than 30 minutes on Facebook.

How about you? Do you have a goal that is so important its worth stopping other things so you can actually achieve that goal?  

The only way you can answer that question is by deciding how important that one thing is. 

I hope you found this article enlightening, invigorating and clarifying.

Six Reasons You Don't Know What You're Talking About

1.) People Assume Things Will Never Change

When I was 11 my teacher said, 'the Delaware river is so polluted it won't be long before we can walk across it.'

My teacher assumed that nothing would be done about pollution, things would just continue as they always had. 

My teacher did not take into account the growing public concern about pollution that resulted in the creation of the the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the enforcement of new laws to protect the environment. 

2.) People Do Not Consider All of the Potential Reasons Something Happened

When my mother heard of a burglary conducted in total darkness she said it took night vision goggles so soldiers must have done it.

My mom assumed that members of the military were the only ones with access to night vision

goggles. 

First, employees at the factory which manufactured the goggles had access.

Second, most military bases employ civilians who also have had access.

Third, both of these groups could sell these goggles to a pawn shop, who can sell the night vision equipment to anyone who walks in the door.

3.) People Assume Others Remember Everything They Ever Said

I once had a boss who questioned some of my processes. I explained that I was following the Vice President's orders; When she spoke to the VP, he denied he ever said that.

She assumed the VP remembered what he said three years ago. 

Since I received these directions three years earlier, I researched memory and retention and then met with my boss and her boss. 

I shared a Harvard Business Review article which explained in no uncertain terms that there is no way the VP could remember what he said three years ago. 

4.) People Assume If Things Should Happen They Will Happen

I recently went to a hospital and had a procedure. Prior to my hospital visit, I had to restrict my drinking.

My wife assumed the doctor's directions said exactly when I had to stop drinking. I said the doctor's directions did not provide a time. She said, that is not possible. I shared the directions and she saw how possible it was.

We all believe things should happen in a certain way, but things are never that way 100% of the time.

5.) People Assume If They Haven't Heard Otherwise, It must Be True

Job loss is hard for anyone. Too often we feel like we're the only one who is unemployed.

We make this assumption because we have no information telling us otherwise. While these feelings are understandable, they're not based on facts.

A quick trip to The Bureau of Labor and Statistics  reveals that, on average,  6 - 8 million Americans lose their job every quarter. The good news is a slightly higher number of Americans get new jobs each quarter. 

6.) People Assume One Person Knows All There is to Know About an Organization

When I was in college, I attended an extracurricular activity which promised to help me relax. The instructor said he was associated with the local hospital.

A fellow student called the hospital and asked the person he spoke with if she knew the instructor. 

Because that person didn't know the instructor, he assumed that the instructor had nothing to do with the hospital.

My friend assumed that the person who answered the phone knew about everyone who ever had anything to do with the hospital.

I have to admit, one of my favorite pastimes is examining the assumptions underlying everything I hear. Before you think I'm strange, consider every vignette you just read.

We all make assumption based on incomplete or faulty information.

My teacher assumed things would never change.

My mother assumed only one group would have access to special equipment.

My boss assumed someone would remember exactly what he said three years ago.

My wife assumed if something should happen it will happen. 

We assume if we haven't heard otherwise, then it must be true.

My friend assumed one person knew everyone who ever had anything to do with a hospital.

I hope you found this article of value and in the future you won't be quick to accept everything you hear.

Clark has had 65 years to learn a few things. During that time he also wrote

Job Hunting Secrets (from someone who's been there) and 

LinkedIn Strategies to Take Your Career to the Next Level

First Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Second Photo by OSPAN ALI  on Unsplash

Vernon Can Read...

 This is a book about one of the greatest humans I've ever known.

I probably chose to read it, because I've seen Vernon in the news throughout my life.

He never sought the limelight but he was a very capable man. Perhaps, I could relate to him.

He did amazing things for the oppressed.

His life in so many ways is best summarized by the many roles he performed:

• Chauffeur whose employer was surprised he could read
• Head of the United Negro College Fund
• Head of the NAACP
• Shot by a racist when he was seen with a white woman
• On the board of directors of many major corporations
• Advisor to President Clinton
• Partner at Lazard Freres, a large investment banking firm.

His mother, a very intelligent and very supportive woman, ran a catering business in Atlanta until she was 83. When he was younger, he frequently worked for her as a server.

More could certain be written about this wonderful book, but I wanted to capture my observations while the book was still fresh in my mind.

Vernon Can Read

Does Network News Really Explain the Full Story?

If you're like many people your knowledge is limited to the nightly news. 

While I enjoy watching NBC's Nightly News I've come to understand it's limits.

First, NBC is owned by Comcast, ABC is owned by Disney and CBS is owned by Paramount Global. The stockholders of these firms bought stock because they expect to profit from their investment. As a result, stories are created to attract and maintain your interest so you're still watching when the commercials come on. 

Second, Fear is a large part of many news stories. Author James Altucher, in his book, I Was Blind But Now I See, suggests that, the best thing you can do is avoid all news. Altucher has worked for over a dozen media companies, written for newspapers, TV shows and been a pundit on TV shows.

He told how he was backstage at a news show when the producer told him:

Don’t fool yourself – all of this is just filler in between advertisements.

Altucher shared this story,

Every week, a newsroom gets all of their best reporters and editors together on a Monday morning. Then the top guy says,“Ok, what have you got?” And the reporters have to respond with items that are designed to induce more and more terror. When the top guy thinks the terror is sufficient to beat out the competition, he says, “Ok, let’s go with it.”(I)

It's easy to see what Altucher is talking about when you read headlines like these:

How many jobs will AI replace?

Will your kids join the thousands who've died from fentanyl? 

Is your daughter joining ISIS?

Third, time is another issue. Since news shows are limited in the time they can devote to any story, we're frequently given sound bites that grab our attention but do little to explain what really happened. The Great Recession generated a lot of headlines, but it wasn't until I read former Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner's book, Stress Test, that I fully understood what happened.

***

Personal Note:  Da Vinci said, "The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding." I'm right there with him. I'm what you'd call a Current Events / History Nerd. I've always sought the full story. I've always sought to understand complex issues. This has helped me to understand what isn't being reported in the nightly news.

(I) Altucher, James. I Was Blind But Now I See. New York: CreateSpace. 2011. p. 35

The metaphor is probably the most fertile power possessed by man

The title of this post is a quote from Spanish philosopher Jose Ortega y Gasset.

I am the happy owner of the book,

Metaphors Be With You: An A to Z Dictionary of History's Greatest Metaphorical Quotations

This gift to myself, written by Dr. Mardy Grothe has enriched my life. That's probably why I find myself constantly rereading it.

Dr. Grothe reminds us,

"Metaphor isn't just for poets; it's in ordinary language and is the principal way we have of conceptualizing abstract concepts like life, death, and time." 

Dr. Grothe shares the following definition of metaphor from the American Heritage Dictionary,

A figure of speech in which a word or phrase that ordinarily designates one thing is used to designate another, thus making an implicit comparison, as in "a sea of troubles" or "All the world's a stage."

Sometimes words can be spartan, meaningless collections of letters, if you ever read some really bad writing, you'll know what I mean.

That's why I love reading these metaphors, like this one from German writer Berthold Auerbach:

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. 

One of my favorites is from Napoleon:

A leader is a dealer in hope.

French-American diarist and essayist, Anais Nin, speaks volumes in nine words about courage:

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Psychologist Terri Apter captures the essence of youth:

Adolescence is society's permission slip for combining physical maturity with psychological irresponsibility

Benjamin Disraeli catches the positive side of misfortune:

There is no education like adversity

Robert Louis Stevenson communicates what it is like to age in a way that this 65 year old can clearly understand:

And what would it be to grow old? For, after a certain distance, every step we take in life we find the ice growing thinner below our feet, and all around us and behind us we see our contemporaries going through.

Given these last three metaphors were for subjects beginning with the letter "A".  Just imagine how enjoyable the next 25 letters will be.

***

Images:

Piano - Photo by Geert Pieters on Unsplash

MLK - Photo by Unseen Histories on Unsplash

Man standing on dock - Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

Adolescents - Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Adversity - Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Aging - Photo by LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR on Unsplash

Staying Calm is a Tall Order - But it is possible...

 Proverbs 29:14a says,

A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body.

But in today's world it isn't easy. I've found that it requires a lot of conscious decisions. I say conscious because I've found I need to be conscious of everything I let into my life.

For example, I used to be on Instagram, LinkedIn and Facebook, now I'm down to FB only. And when someone shares something upsetting on FB, I just unfollow them. (I remain connected but I don't see anything they posted. They're happy. I'm happy and all is well.)

During the week, I only watch TV between 6:30 and 8:00. On the weekend, it isn't much different.

I've come to understand why Alexander Pope said,

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”

The other day, I was chatting with a co-worker who was upset with our managers.

I responded, at the end of the day, 65 years have taught me that there are few things worth getting upset about.

For me, it comes down to this:

Does my wife come home at the end of the day?

Do people drive on the right side of the road?

Does my paycheck clear?

If these things happen, I'm happy and I couldn't be happier.

These conscious decisions on how I am going to interact with my world have enabled me to live a calm life.

How about you?

What do you do to remain calm?

*****

Clark Finnical is the author of Job Hunting Secrets (from someone who’s been there) and LinkedIn Strategies to Take Your Career to the Next Level